Day 1

1/3/14

Day 1:

Yesterday should have been the official start to my 40 day journey to better health.  I’m semi-technically following the “Daniel Plan”.  I don’t like that name though, so I choose to read the book and keep the journal, but follow my own make shift version by combining the wealth of knowledge I accumulated during my previously unsuccessful attempts. 

This time will be different.  Why?  Because I have learned from my failures.  Because I want it more.  Because I am no longer overwhelmed with the hustle and bustle of going from work to whichever activity clamored for my attention each evening.  Sometimes that was night classes and other times it was Jacob’s baseball practice.  This time is different.  There are no classes.  I have time to plan in advance.  I have resolved that Jacob will get healthy too, although I will set a more gradual pace for him, lest I trip up over the stress of a wailing 6 year old who mirrors my own stubborn resolve while lacking the maturity to reign it in.  Yes, the miniature version of me makes me want to explode sometimes, although an implosion would be more helpful in finding the plug for the leaking shriek fest.  I have flirted with the world I left behind, but I have realized the darkness that is masked beneath the momentary escapes from reality.  I am ready to embrace reality.  I am ready to find the positive in each moment so that my reality becomes something to be treasured rather than something to hide from.  When I find my strength in the world, I fail.  I emerge weaker than when I started.  But when I turn to God, and cultivate a relationship that defies religion, that is when my strength returns.  I am starting a journey to find my strength.  I am starting a journey towards vitality.  I am searching for joy.  I want to position myself to hear from and be led by God.  I want to deepen my faith and move fearlessly forward into the next chapter of my life.  The last few chapters have been preparation.  The next 40 days will strengthen me physically, spiritually, and emotionally for wherever God is leading me to next.  I want the next part of my journey to involve a level of vitality and joy that I have never experienced. 

The next 40 days will be a time of reflection.  I will abstain from sugar, alcohol, and processed foods.  I will spend time in prayer each day and I will exercise.  I will keep a record of my progress as well as my reflections.  My failed attempts together make a foundation from which to build from.   I am motivated by the same feelings of lethargy and irritability, however the destination is a catalyst for future success rather than a reflection of a failure to arrive in the past.  The arrival awaits me, however cliché that may sound, and I am ready to be prepared for what is to come.